How often have we
thought of something that we have done or not done over the past week
and felt a pang of Guilt? You know, the phone call we didn’t return,
the evening we spent watching TV rather than doing the laundry (or
cleaning out that closet, or writing Christmas cards, or ???) Or perhaps
focusing on the bill that didn’t get paid on time, or…
How does that
feeling of guilt serve us? Some might say that feeling guilty motivates
us to do better next time. But does it? I suggest that guilty
feelings actually do us harm. When we don’t feel good about ourselves,
do we usually make changes, or have the energy to do what we have put
off? Rarely, if ever.
Instead, we will
have a piece of chocolate, or zone in front of the TV, or chat on
Facebook, have a glass of wine or a beer, or distract ourselves in some
way. Why do we feel the need for distraction? - Because we are feeling
lousy about ourselves. When we feel guilty, we are feeling like we
don’t deserve what we want in life, that we are not worthy of respect,
or love or approval. We feel like we have failed in some way.
I believe that
when we perpetuate these feelings, by choosing to feel guilty (yes, it
is a choice!), we are ‘dimming the light’ of who we really are. We are
depleting our own energy, we are lowering our vibration. From the
perspective of the Law of Attraction, we are moving further away from
realizing all that we want and desire in life!
So, does Guilt
really benefit us? No. When we feel guilty and tell ourselves that we
are bad, we are not motivated to do it differently next time, we usually
just try and distract ourselves from feeling bad. What DOES sometimes
happen, is that if we don’t feel great about our past choices, we can
make different choices that WILL make us feel better. Change only occurs
when we have forgiven ourselves for our ‘imperfection’ (who said we are
supposed to be perfect anyhow?), and we want to do something that makes
us feel good about ourselves.
I am suggesting
that imposing Guilt on ourselves just prolongs the misery, encourages us
to procrastinate, and not change. What really motivates us is when we
feel good. When we at look ourselves in the mirror and see someone that
we like, respect – even love?
How would life be
different if we lightened up on ourselves? What if when we make a
mistake, we say “Oops!”, immediately forgive ourselves and move forward?
Would we not have more energy? Would we not be kinder and more loving
to ourselves? And, if we are more loving to ourselves, won’t we have
more love to give? All this, by simply choosing to let go of Guilt.
