“Just Suck It Up and Get It Done!” NOT!!!

This phrase has come up in my coaching sessions with a few clients recently.  They find themselves feeling they have to push themselves to do the things they need to get done.  These things might be exercising, staying late at work, doing unpleasant paperwork, or personal tasks like taxes or work around the house.  (Can you relate?) 

Many of us have heard (and/or said) this phrase in the past.  Do you tell yourself this?  I believe this is one of the “Lies” our society teaches us.

Why do I call it a “Lie”?   Because I believe it is not only counter productive, but also self-defeating!

When we are told to “Just suck it up” we are being told to ignore or suppress what we are feeling – perhaps dread, overwhelm, anxiousness or any other kind of resistance. 

I have learned (the hard way!) that ignoring my feelings doesn’t work!  Suppressed feelings show up to haunt us.    Sometimes they show up somewhere else inappropriately, such as blowing up in anger over something very small.   Sometimes even in the form of illness or depression. 

If we take action, i.e. ‘getting it done’, when we are resistant to it, we create what I call “Split Energy” within us.  This just drains our energy and makes our actions less effective.  (Click Here to read about Split Energy)

When we have resistant or negative feelings about what we are attempting to do, we are a magnet for accidents, technical difficulties, and less than ideal results.  Not only does it drain us, but it shuts the door to the possibility of attracting Ease, Serendipity and Joy! 

Sure, there are many things that we need to do that we might not feel like doing, so how do we handle this?

The key to this is to remember that we have a CHOICE about what we focus on and what we think (or say to ourselves).  If we “just suck it up” and take action (i.e. “get it done”) we are taking action at the same time we are telling ourselves things like “I hate this!” or “This is so hard.” or “Why do I have to do this?” etc.

If, in stead BEFORE we take action, we soften our resistance with thoughts like, “I will feel SO good when this is finished.”  Once this is done, I will reward myself.”  “If I take baby steps, this can be easier than I thought.” Or simply, “I am going to do this, so I want to let go of all of my resistance to it!”

Once we practice choosing less resistant thoughts, our energy lightens up, it can get easy and even fun!

In a recent call with a client, this song from my childhood (Mary Poppins) came up:

“In every job that must be done

There is an element of fun

You find the fun and snap!

The job's a game

And every task you undertake

Becomes a piece of cake

A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

The medicine go down-wown

The medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way…”

(and yes, I sang it to my client J )

I didn’t appreciate the great wisdom in that song back then.  I think I need to watch Mary Poppins again and see what else I missed!  (Maybe a Law of Attraction Movie Party!)

Here’s an example of how things can become easy and serendipitous -  

A client shared that she has had a lot of resistance to hospitals and doctors, etc.  Her husband needed to go in for outpatient surgery.  (being a diligent client) she decided to let go of her negative thoughts about doctors and choose to focus on positive things.  She listed some of the serendipity that happened:  She thought she missed a turn by the hospital, but ended up at a free parking to for outpatient services.  Once her husband was settled, she went to get a latte and someone else paid for it!  She ran into a number of hospital staff who were very friendly and remembered them from a previous visit. And to top it off, her husband’s surgery went very smoothly and they were done and home much earlier than expected!

In any case, we are all capable of choosing to let go of our resistance and choose 100% to do something before we take action.  When we do, things get much easier!

Did You Know Reiki Can Make You Nicer? 👿

I often tell a story in my First Degree Reiki class where an acquaintance said  "I'm glad to see you again, now that you do Reiki. You are SO different!"

I had no idea what she was talking about - and when I questioned her, she finally confessed, "You used to be a B**ch -  but I like you now!"

This struck me as very odd, so I approached a close friend and asked if she noticed anything different about me over the past few months (That is, once I started practicing Reiki on myself daily.) She said, “Oh, yes! You are much more relaxed and happier!”  I then asked another friend the same question and got a similar response.

I realized that if 3 unrelated people noticed a change in me, it was most likely true.  It took me a while to recognize what they had all noticed – Before giving myself Reiki everyday, I had constantly felt overwhelmed and never caught up with all my tasks and responsibilities.  Even when I was at a social event, my mind was thinking about what I had to get done later that day and the next! 

No wonder this acquaintance thought I was a B**ch – I was never present or paying attention to anyone else!  I was so trapped in just coping with my life, I never got to really be the warm, loving person I thought I was. 

 

When we are feeling stressed in life, we are not able to be our "best selves.”  By simply doing Reiki self-treatments regularly, we are able to be our nicer, "best selves"!  Reiki nourishes us and replenishes the energy that is depleted by stress – so we are able to be healthier, happier and ‘nicer’!

The Drain of “SHOULDS”

The Drain of “SHOULDS”

The word “Should” is very telling when I hear my clients say it – they are either imposing it on someone else (“he should have…” or “they should…”) and stressing themselves out, or imposing it on themselves (“I should have…” or “I should do…” or “I should be…”) and bringing themselves down!

It is SO easy to see this in others, and surprising when I found I was doing it to myself…   I have a long list of tasks that need to get done: for my website, for my new programs, for my wealth coaching, etc.  So whenever I had any open time, I told myself  - “I should… (X Y or Z)”! 

I was grouchy, restless, I couldn’t focus, I felt tired and drained.  And got nothing done!  (I DID manage to get laundry done, water my plants, etc.)  Can any of you relate???

I am a teacher of Law of Attraction, and yet here I was trying to PUSH myself into tasks because I felt they needed to get done, not because I had lined my energy up to do them!  No wonder I was in a funk!

I realized I was trying to ‘swim upstream’ and wasn’t getting very far – and I was my own worst enemy.  I recognized that I had not been using my Inner Guidance and Intuition to help me move forward in my work, but rather was trying to force myself into action. 

Some of the steps I took to get away from my “Shoulds” are:

• I made a commitment to myself to journal every morning for the next 21 days (today was day 6 and I am already getting insights).
• Each day I am committed to looking at the “possible” tasks I need to do and see which (if any) feel appealing.  Then do those.  
• If nothing appeals to me, then I need to do something self-nurturing, as it means my energy isn’t available for my work.
• Remind myself (frequently) that I am MORE productive and creative when I line up my energy before doing a task.
• When I can’t line my energy up for a task, and feel the pressure of needing to get it done, I look at what I am resistant to and why. Usually this will dissolve the resistance, or, I look for another solution.  Maybe I need more information, or I need to ask for help (ugh!)
• I re-read what I wrote about “Split Energy” (link below)

What I know to be true is that when I take action when I have resistance to it (with thoughts such as, “I hate doing this”, “this is so hard”, “I need to be more focused” etc.)  then I am draining my own energy, AND, I will be much less productive and effective than I can be.

We all should (just Kiddng!) We CAN tell the little gremlin in our mind who says “You SHOULD get this done”; “You SHOULD have already done this” or “You SHOULD be more productive”… to be quiet. 

There IS a reason that you don’t feel like doing something – and until you identify it and work through that reason – you will be making your life more stressful and draining! 

We ALL deserve a life of Ease, but we are the only ones that can give it to ourselves!

 Wishing you EASE in your life, with insights and productivity, too!

PS Here is a Link to my Article on "Split Energy":

(http://maureenisinjoyinglife.blogspot.com/2017/07/split-energy.html)

Is There Really a Lack of Time?

Is There Really a Lack of Time?

Have you noticed how pervasive the perspective of “Lack” is in our culture?  I have often been caught up in my own perception of a Lack of Time ~

I notice evidence of my own “Lack of time” perspective too often….

For example, when I come to a yellow traffic light, my automatic response is to speed up and hurry through the intersection before it turns red.

Oh, and while I am driving, I notice my irritation when the lane I am in is going slower than the others… and usually try and move to the faster moving lane.

Why?  Am I really going to ‘save’ a minute or two in my day by feeling pressured to get wherever I am going in the least amount of time?

Not everybody has this kind of “Lack of time” programming (certainly all the people ‘dawdling’ along in front of me don’t!) 

As much as I try to stay in the present moment, I often feel the stress and tension of a deadline or appointment.  Again, it reflects my [Mis]perception of a Lack of time.

This “Lack” perspective shows up in dozens of ways – with thoughts such as:

·      “I have to be productive and make the most of our time”

·      “I have to get where I am going as quickly as possible”

·      “I can’t talk now, I need to get back to work”

·      “I should get something done – I’m wasting time”

·      “There are only 24 hours in a day”

These thoughts reflect beliefs that “there is not enough”….

But is that really true? 

What we experience and accomplish in the same 24 hours as the previous generation had is expanding.  Technology has allowed us to accomplish tenfold what was do-able in the same time than we used to do. 

I remember Maharishi Mahesh Yogi saying many years ago that meditation will allow us to “Do Less and Accomplish More.”  I know from my own experience that if I ‘take time’ to meditate and do Reiki for myself, my day flows with much greater ease – I seem to connect with the right people at the right time and “serendipity” occurs more often!

So what impact does “Lack thinking” have on us?  At the very least, it adds stress, anxiety and worry to our days.  When we don’t believe we have much control over the time we have, this perspective diminishes our dreams, clouds our feelings of Joy and Happiness, and ultimately lowers our energy and blocks our ability to attract serendipity and what we desire.

Here’s a suggestion – write an inventory of any “lack” thoughts that frequently go through your mind.  Examine these thoughts and see if you truly believe they are true – if not, rephrase those thoughts into something more empowering.  And then, “Reprogram” your beliefs by reading these new statements daily – and see what happens! 

There are many great thinkers who have recognized the power of beliefs, such as:

What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

~ Napoleon Hill

We only see what we want to see; we only hear what we want to hear. Our belief system is just like a mirror that only shows us what we believe.

~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
- J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

What if we choose to believe in the “Abundance of time” instead of the lack?

What about those moments when time seems to stand still?  (usually when we are very present) Or, when we are so engrossed in an activity (usually fun and satisfying) and we have no sense of time? 

Have you ever experienced time ‘stretching’ – when something happens that should have taken much longer than it did?  If so, I’d love to hear your story, please email me!

In the meantime, I will consciously focus on reminding myself that there is “Always enough Time” for what I really need…

InJoyingLife,

Maureen Pua’ena

Are We Taking Ourselves Too Seriously?

 I know I do - too often!  It is amusing when I look back at times when I have taken myself too seriously, but of course in the actual moment I don’t have a sense of humor – because I am being too serious!

Recently I was sharing a story of how I was kept waiting at a car repair place for an extremely long period of time (over 4 hours) and describing how upset I was.  What I noticed (as I was telling the story) was my self-righteous indignation at being kept waiting so long, and I saw the underlying perspective that made me SO upset,

I had been thinking “How dare they disrespect me and my time  - I am a busy (i.e. important) person and have clients and things to do!!!”

Of course, looking back and telling the story made me realize how ‘Self Important’ I was feeling… and taking myself and my work waaay tooo seriously!

It made me wonder how many other times I am unhappy, upset and stressed, simply because I have been taking myself too seriously!

I am taking myself too seriously when:

• I take offence at someone forgetting something that I feel is important (like my birthday!)
• I am impatient when I am kept waiting
• I am self conscious on a ‘bad hair’ day
• I am worrying what another person is thinking about me
• I rehearse conversations  (or arguments) in my mind before I talk to people
• I get irritated when the grocery store is out of stock on something I want
• I feel anxious when I have a tightly scheduled day

Do you do this too?  If so, we are both creating unnecessary stress in our lives!   

How silly is that?

The above list is just a sampling of ways I can take myself too seriously.  I am sure I have many more that I am not aware of.  Most of the above situations have “Shoulds” attached to them…

• “They Should remember (my birthday, or…) if they care!”
• "They Should be more considerate of other people’s time.”
• “I Should always look my best”
• “They Should agree with my point of view”
• “They Should keep their shelves stocked appropriately (i.e. my needs are important!)
• “I Should keep up with everything!”

I discovered that a sudden traumatic situation really can clarify my perspective and it was quite easy to not take myself so seriously.  In 2010, a close friend died suddenly and I was responsible for taking care of most of her affairs – and this happened right in the middle of my own process of moving out of my house and going to the mainland for 6 months!

In the midst of my grief and the overwhelming tasks I had to take care of within less than 2 weeks, I had a gift of great clarity – I saw how many things that had been VERY important the day before were truly irrelevant (like a bad hair day!!)

This gift still serves me today.  When I am feeling stressed about a number of things, I ask myself (when I remember!) is this really of “life and death” importance?  Almost all the time the answer is “no” and I am able to let go of my “self importance” and relax.

Of course, I can forget this clarity of perspective and fall back into taking myself too seriously, but I am better able to notice it and shift these days…

Are you making insignificant things too important?  If you are willing to change your perspective, I bet you will find your sense of humor and be amused at your folly, like I am!

InJoyingLife,

Aloha,

Maureen

P.S. I'd love to here some of your "self important" stories! Please email me at Maureen@InJoyingLife.com