The Drain of “SHOULDS”
The word “Should” is very
telling when I hear my clients say it – they are either imposing it on someone
else (“he should have…” or “they should…”) and stressing themselves out,
or imposing it on themselves (“I should
have…” or “I should do…” or “I should be…”) and bringing themselves
down!
It is SO easy to see this in
others, and surprising when I found I was doing it to myself… I have a long list of tasks that need to get
done: for my website, for my new programs, for my wealth coaching, etc. So whenever I had any open time, I told
myself - “I should… (X Y or Z)”!
I was grouchy, restless, I
couldn’t focus, I felt tired and drained.
And got nothing done! (I DID manage to get
laundry done, water my plants, etc.) Can
any of you relate???
I am a teacher of Law of
Attraction, and yet here I was trying to PUSH myself into tasks because I felt
they needed to get done, not because I had lined my energy up to do
them! No wonder I was in a funk!
I realized I was trying to
‘swim upstream’ and wasn’t getting very far – and I was my own worst
enemy. I recognized that I had not been
using my Inner Guidance and Intuition to help me move forward in my work, but
rather was trying to force myself into action.
Some of the steps I took to
get away from my “Shoulds” are:
- I made a commitment to myself to journal every morning for the next 21 days (today was day 6 and I am already getting insights).
- Each day I am committed to looking at the “possible” tasks I need to do and see which (if any) feel appealing. Then do those.
- If nothing appeals to me, then I need to do something self-nurturing, as it means my energy isn’t available for my work.
- Remind myself (frequently) that I am MORE productive and creative when I line up my energy before doing a task.
- When I can’t line my energy up for a task, and feel the pressure of needing to get it done, I look at what I am resistant to and why. Usually this will dissolve the resistance, or, I look for another solution. Maybe I need more information, or I need to ask for help (ugh!)
- I re-read what I wrote about “Split Energy” (link below)
What I know to be true is
that when I take action when I have resistance to it (with thoughts
such as, “I hate doing this”, “this is so hard”, “I need to be more focused”
etc.) then I am draining my own energy,
AND, I will be much less productive and effective than I can be.
We all should (just Kiddng!) We CAN tell the
little gremlin in our mind who says “You SHOULD get this done”; “You SHOULD
have already done this” or “You SHOULD be more productive”… to be quiet.
There IS a reason that you
don’t feel like doing something – and until you identify it and work through
that reason – you will be making your life more stressful and draining!
We ALL deserve a life of
Ease, but we are the only ones that can give it to ourselves!
Wishing you EASE in your life, with insights and productivity, too!
PS Here is a Link to my Article on "Split Energy":
