In January 2010, I
packed up my belongings, put them in storage, moved out of my house and set off
for what I thought was a 6 month trip. I
expected to return to Hawaii and settle into a new home and continue with life
as usual. Now, two and a half years later, I am still “Home Free” and living
out of my suitcase!
I have just left
England, where I attended a weekend Reiki Retreat near Glastonbury hosted by a
fellow Reiki Master and friend, Melanie Hoffstead. It was a magical time, and
one of the songs we sang (in an amazing Druid circle) was “Home Is Where The
Heart Is”. How appropriate!
During a good part of these past two plus years, I have been living in other people's homes - sometimes as a house-sitter, other times as a house guest. I am extremely grateful to the many people who have welcomed me into their home. It has been a time of receiving, and learning to receive with appreciation without diminishing my sense of self when others are so generous towards me. It helped that this gypsy life-style has been by choice, rather than feeling it was out of necessity, but isn't that simply choosing something 100% rather than feeling something is a reluctant option?
In the past, when I was the recipient of someone's generosity, it often came with a feeling of being less - Of being needy rather than capable, of being dependent on others, rather than fully capable within my own self. I am sure many of you have had similar feelings.
Why do we feel "less" or "needy" when others give to us? Is it because we feel they wouldn't give if we weren't in need? Is it because we believe that if I receive, I am taking from someone else? Do I only give when I perceive someone of being needy or needing to be helped or rescued? No! I frequently give for the joy of it, because I have blessings and abundance to share, and I especially love giving to others when they joyfully appreciate my gift, rather than being apologetic because they perceived themselves as somehow less than me.
I learned a great lesson many years ago when a client gifted me with the money to attend a Reiki Master Workshop in Uruguay. When she offered to pay for both my trip and the workshop, I was brought to tears. I said to her - "But, but, that is so generous!" Her wise reply to me was "No, I don't see it as generous - you are supposed to go, and I am just the vehicle!"
What if we are all simply the "vehicles" for each other? What if we give for the joy of it, rather than out of some sense of obligation, duty or even pity? What if our lives are simply a dance, where we take turns leading and following, supporting and receiving - Recognizing that everything we give and receive with each other is simply all part of the Infinite Abundance of Source, and we get to be the caretaker of some of that abundance for a while.
Receiving with Gratitude and Joy is, in my opinion, the best way to say thanks, and, of course to attract continued blessings and abundance, so I am able to also "pay it forward" in my life every day.
I am so blessed by all of you who have touched my life and given your 'energy' to me - be it a smile, a meal, an encouraging word, tuition for a class, a referral, a place to stay, helped me laugh, made me cry, hugged me, or simply just listened. I have never felt so abundant and blessed as I have these past years. A Joyful Mahalo for all of your gifts!
