SOLUTIONS vs PROBLEMS

 I have been working with the concepts of the Law of Attraction as presented in the film The Secret and the teachings of Abraham-Hicks  for a number of years.  As a result, I have experienced a dramatic increase in the quality of my life – greater Joy, more Peace, increased income, and a lot more laughter (frequently at myself!)

One of the habits I keep noticing is the tendency to be ‘problem focused”.  Many of us have been taught by society to look for the flaws or problems with the misconception that if we can find what is not ideal or perfect, we can then ‘fix’ the problem and improve ourselves and our life.

What the Law of Attraction teaches is that whatever we focus upon, we get more of.  So, if we look for what isn’t right, we get more of that!.  I notice phrases like “The problem is…” or, “Everything is good, but …”  “If only ….” 

I find myself in the habit of noticing what I want to change, instead of giving 100% of my attention (and therefore my energy) to a desired outcome. 

I can do this with my body.  Instead of noticing all the things that are great about my body and my health, such as my stamina, my strong immune system, my healthy hair, how quickly I heal, how quickly I respond to exercise  how well I sleep, my good digestion, the pleasure of my senses …. I will notice a problem.  (I will not even mention any problems here!)

I can do the same thing with compliments.  Even when I don’t say it out loud, when someone says I am good at something, my attention will automatically go to something I would like to improve!  How crazy is that?  I have to consciously remind myself to take in the compliment and acknowledge it’s validity to myself.

I believe it is very flawed thinking to diligently seek the problems to ‘fix’.  It is very contrary to the Law of Attraction.  What would happen if we just noticed and appreciated what is going well?  What if we really became aware of all of the wonderful things about ourselves and our life? 

I believe that if you hold an appreciative, positive perspective, if we became detectives working to find the good and the best in ourselves and our life, we would have such a rich, wonderful life, that any imperfections would be put in proper perspective .  Problems would work themselves out, or be resolved almost effortlessly.

Think about how you feel when you are with someone who is happy, at peace and feels great about themselves.  Don’t you feel drawn to them?  Don’t you feel like helping them out if they need something?  Doesn’t just being around them make you feel better?

What if we became one of those people?  What if life became easy and effortless because we were so full of joy?  What if this is how it is really supposed to be?

DISCIPLINE

A large number of us set New Year's Resolutions, or at least decide to start the New Year with better habits and lifestyles... Most of these intentions for improvement call for "Discipline."

In recent years, the concept of "discipline" has taken a new twist for me.  Previously, when I heard the word discipline, I would think of something unpleasant, of having to force myself to do something I don't want to do, but do it anyhow, since I believe it is good for me, or I will like the end result.

In some areas of my life, such as in my work, I have thought of myself as relatively disciplined, in the sense that if I say I will do something, it will get done.  In other areas, my 'self discipline' is inconsistent.  For example, I would decide to exercise on a regular basis and do so for a few weeks.  At some point, the activity I had planned disappears from my life.  In the past when I dieted, I would be very "disciplined" until I reached my target and then I would put the weight back on.

As I looked at this pattern, I realized that in the areas that took what I perceived as 'discipline', I had to FORCE myself to do something I didn't want to do.  For example, with dieting, I would want to eat something that was not on my diet, I would reach for it and stop myself.  I would struggle and tell myself no, that I would not like the consequences on the scale if I ate it.  With exercising, I would dread being cold as I got in the pool, or dread the tired feeling, the backache or sore muscles after my walk or workout, and I would struggle and tell myself that I would feel worse about myself for not exercising.

I came to see that with this pattern, I was expending a LOT of energy resisting myself.  It felt like I was running a marathon, just pushing myself a little further, then a little further, always with the finish line in mind.  I was willing to expend that amount of energy for a finite amount of time, but I couldn't do it indefinitely!  I couldn't run a marathon every day for the rest of my life! 

One day as I was walking, I noticed that as I felt the discomfort of being out of breath and my legs and back hurting, I would take my attention off of my body and distract myself with thoughts about a presentation I was doing.  An alarm went off inside! 

One of the things I have been working on is to stay present and connected to my feelings.  I have many ways that I used to distract myself from uncomfortable feelings such as overeating, being too busy and overwhelmed, getting caught up in drama in my life, etc.  All of them are quite effective in allowing me to disconnect from what I am feeling in the moment.  Here I was doing it while I was walking! I suddenly understood that the mechanism I used to 'discipline' myself was the same one that I have been trying to eliminate in my life!  Now what? Was I to give up the idea of having any discipline at all? (I have to admit, that was a tempting thought!)

As I was writing in my journal, I remembered an experience I had during my Bungy Jump. (yes, I did it, it was great!)  As I stood on the platform 140 feet above the river below me, I felt a very visceral fear.  I took a few deep breaths and imagined diving off of the little platform and immediately grabbed the railing and knew I wasn't ready to go.  Then my attention shifted to my memories of all the times I had been up high somewhere and dreamt of flying freely through the air.  As I focused on the desire to feel exhilaration of flying the fear disappeared.  Then I thought about diving off of the platform and the fear welled up again, then I focused on flying and the desire and exhilaration flowed through me again.  When I finally dove off of the platform, I was completely connected to my desire to fly and felt no fear at all.  Not only was it exhilarating, it was thrilling, empowering and I felt high for two days afterwards!

The significant part of this memory, was that I did not RESIST or fight my feeling of fear.  Instead, I chose to focus on my DESIRE to fly!  This took no 'discipline' on my part, and instead of distracting myself from my fear, or ignoring my discomfort, as I tended to think was necessary, for discipline, I stayed very connected to my feelings and chose to focus on my desire!

My new perspective on discipline is not to force myself to do something uncomfortable and detach from my discomfort, but rather to stay very connected to my feelings of desire for the outcome.  For example, instead of fighting my desire to eat more than my body needs and feel deprived of the pleasure of my food, I can focus on how good it feels to be light and energized without feeling hunger.  When I choose to exercise, instead of focusing on the discomfort or dread of the activity, I can focus on being in the fresh air, being present and gentle with my body and enjoying the sensuality of movement! 

So now, for me, discipline is simply a matter of focus - finding my desire in the activity and its outcome and focusing on what I can enjoy in the process!  Discipline now becomes another exercise in awareness, rather than a struggle!! What a relief!

WHAT IF?

What if life is supposed to be easy?  What if life is supposed to be joyful play, ALL the time?  What if life is supposed to be an ever-expanding adventure of creative expression?  What if the only thing stopping us from having unlimited health, wealth & prosperity is what we are thinking about and what we believe is possible?

I know, we have to make a living, pay our bills, etc.  But who said it should be difficult?  Yes, who said so? What if those people (parents, teachers, church, etc.) that taught us that we shouldn’t expect all that we desire to come to us effortlessly were mislead?  What if they were simply taught something erroneous and they passed it on?  Remember, about 500 years ago, people were taught that the world was flat!  Even a hundred years ago, who could have believed space travel, cell phones and the internet would be part of our daily life?

Take a minute to imagine what you would like life to be like - if you could create it any way you wanted?  What would you spend your days doing?  Where would you live? What would you dream of?  What would you create?  It can feel a little mind boggling if we really set no limitations on ourselves….

HMMMMM, sailing on my private chartered yacht in the Caribbean, treks to Machu Pichu in Peru and to Egypt and Greece and Italy… Spending a month in some exotic place learning the indigenous style of pottery or weaving…. Spending a few months in a Hawaiian preschool learning to speak Hawaiian fluently… scuba diving in different places all over the world…. Skydiving, learning to fly a helicopter, creating and tending a garden and then preparing meals for friends made from all the things I have grown myself… buying a piece of oceanfront property and building and designing and decorating my dream home… oh, yes, visiting with Oprah and talking story with her….

These are a just a few things that come to mind, I am sure as I continued to expand my horizons, more exciting things would bubble up.  “Maybe I could do some or one of those things…” “Of course I would have to work hard to earn the money to do all of that…”    “Unrealistic?” “ Irresponsible?” “ Selfish?”  “Indulgent?”  Those are some of the gremlin-like thoughts that can show up in reaction to dreams like these. 

Then the question came to mind:  “What is my purpose here?”

WHAT IF our purpose in life is NOT to earn a living, be a productive member of society, do good deeds?… WHAT IF our purpose in life (or even multiple lives) is NOT to learn lessons, repeating them until we get it right?…. WHAT IF our purpose in life is NOT to discover our gifts and use them in a way that benefits others?… WHAT IF our purpose in life is NOT to take care of our neighbor, make others happy, and live a moral, ‘good’ life?…. WHAT IF our purpose in life is NOT to atone or clear the Karma from past actions?… WHAT IF our purpose in life is NOT to do anything we have been told….

What if our purpose in life is to simply find ways to be joyful?  To explore and experience all that we desire?  What if the details like food, shelter and money really can take care of themselves when we live from a place of trust and faith?  We have heard things like “Ask and it is given”, “To believe is to achieve”, To think is to create” or “We are never given a desire without the means to fulfill it”?  WHAT IF THEY ARE REALLY TRUE?  What if we don’t have to DO anything to ‘earn’ or ‘deserve’ or ‘be worthy’ of anything?

I realize that for some, these are radical thoughts, but they are certainly worth exploring.  Over the years, I keep coming across this perspective and have embraced it to varying degrees.  If I hadn’t believed this philosophy to some degree, I would never have taken the ‘leap’ to become a Reiki master.

Have any of you had experiences of living from Trust and having Life work?  I’d love to hear your stories and examples – and I’d love to hear your comments if I struck a chord with you…

SPLIT ENERGY

I am going to share with you something that is very simple, relatively easy to do, that will double or triple the amount of energy you feel you have every day.  It will most likely also double or triple the amount of success you experience…what is this amazing secret? It is SO simple, and most people rarely take advantage of it – and that is simply choosing everything you do throughout the day, 100%!

What do I mean by ‘choosing 100%’?  We rarely do.  Instead, most of us spend a large portion of our days with what I call ‘Split Energy.’  This is when:

Our alarm goes off and we don’t feel like getting out of bed, and we force ourselves to get up.

When we tell ourselves we SHOULD do something and we don’t want to.

When we have a dinner (or party or social function) and we would rather stay home, but we go because others are expecting us to be there.

When we do the laundry and housework and feel resentful that others are not helping out.

When we are at work and feel resentful because someone else is not pulling their weight. 

When we feel like relaxing and we tell ourselves we can’t because we have ‘too much to do!’

Another common way we generate ‘Split Energy’ is when we make a decision and then ‘second guess’ the choice we made -  whether it is something as simple as what we decide to order at a restaurant (“I should have ordered the cheeseburger, rather than the salad…”), or something very significant such as who we marry or what job to take.  When we make a decision, we need to choose it 100%!

Worry is a more subtle way to split our energy: when we think “I want this to work out,” we are heading in one direction, then, “What if it doesn’t work?” we are going in the opposite direction!

There is a phrase I use a lot: “Energy flows where our attention goes.” So, it follows that when we choose something with ANY reservations, we have placed ourselves in an energy tug-of-war!  This energy tug-of-war is what makes us less effective, fatigued, and generally feeling anxious. 

Just imagine how much energy you can free up if you put all your focus in the same direction!

I can hear your thoughts now: “If I only did what I felt like doing – I would never show up for work, my family would never get dinner, my home would be a mess, I would have no friends…..”

That isn’t necessarily true.  If we recognize how self-defeating it is to do anything with split energy, we can choose to do things without any resistance!  It is the resistance that drains us! 

Imagine something that you often do reluctantly (i.e. with split energy).  What if you were to take a moment and decide to “Do or Don’t Do” -   Many times, the consequence of not doing something feels worse than doing it (such as not going to work that day) and so we force ourselves to do it.  What if we took no action, until we chose it 100%?  What if we talked ourselves into fully embracing the task at hand, whether it is washing dishes or writing a report?  I know from my own experience, that by simply choosing something 100%, I feel a HUGE increase in energy and end up feeling really great!  There are times also, when I decide it feels better to NOT do something, and I feel great relief!

Just Do It – 100% and see how much more energy you feel each day.

Listen To Your Heart

I have been offering Intuitive Guidance for people both in groups and privately for about 5 years.  One of the most common types of questions I get are from people that are needing to make decisions, choices or choose a direction to focus upon for their future.  They are often trying the weigh the Pros and Cons of their options, or trying to figure out what the "best choice" will be.  This uncertainty  leads to stress, anxiety, sometimes sleepless nights. 

There is a lot of fear about making a wrong decision - "What are the repercussions if  don't make the right decision?"

There is a very simple solution to this stress: "Listen to Your Heart".  "But How?" do you ask.  

 

 

We have been raised in our culture to use our "Reason & Logic" to make our decisions. We admire people who are smart and are able to process information quicly and effectively and, yet, we often have to make decisions and choices where we may not have all the information.  We are frequently expected to guess or anticipate things that are in the future   -  that will affect the outcome of our decision, and we have the stress and worry of making the wrong estimate.  Or, there is SO much information that we are completely overwhelmed. (Buying a new Cell phone comes to mind!)

So, what do we do? Yes, you are right, we need to learn to "listen to our heart"!  And how, you ask, do we do this?  For many of us, we are so used to thinking our way through life, that we are unaware of the more subtle feelings that give us very reliable cues.  For some, you may feel sensation more in your gut, but in many readings the phrase that comes through, is "Your Heart is NEVER Wrong."  This may require a great leap of faith, especially if you don't have a lot of information (or even contradictory information!) and so there are really two steps to this process.  First of all, tuning in to our feelings, rather than our "head" and secondly, learning to trust what our heart tells us!

Jill Bolte Taylor, author of "A Stroke of Insight", describes in great detail the differences between the right and left hemisphere of the brain.  The left hemisphere is the reason and logic, the home of the Intellect, while the right hemisphere is non-linear, visual and connected to everything - the home of our Intuition!  Our Intuition speaks to us through our heart, our feelings.

In one of my Tele-classes,  I taught a technique to help tune in to your intuition.  It is very simple, and easy to use every day.  One of the most important reasons to practice using your intuition, is that from our right brain functioning, we access everything that affects us, not just the facts that we have.  It is also a fabulous shortcut to cutting through all sorts of overwhelming information!

Click Here to Listen to Maureen's Tele-class

I believe that many of us are out of balance in our use of our Intellect over Intuition.  Life becomes easy, smoother and full of serendipity when we learn to listen to  our heart, (i.e.our intuition) AND learn to trust it!

What do YOU think?  Do you have any stories of success (or not?!) in listening to your heart? I'd love to hear from you.

BEING "RIGHT"

At a seminar I attended over twenty years ago, the facilitator asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks.  She asked: “When are you going to get tired of being RIGHT instead of HAPPY?”  She was referring specifically to my fear/belief that if I opened my heart to a man, I would be hurt.  She pointed out to me that I kept being drawn to men that fulfilled my fear/belief and were the perfect match – in other words, I got to Be Right!

About a decade later,I met a woman (who had taken many of the same seminars I had taken) had a very annoying habit - Whenever I said something like “I can’t do that,” or “I can’t afford that,” or “It’s too hard”, she would say, “If you say so…”  The most annoying part of her behavior was that I knew what she said was true!

Henry Ford is quoted as saying: “Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.”    

I must confess that I still get a little thrill of pleasure when someone says to me, “You were right.”

You may have heard the phrase, “Energy flows where our attention goes.” ~ meaning that whatever we put our focus or attention on, receives more energy and increases.  From this perspective, we all get to Be Right - always!

So, what do I get to Be Right about?  The obvious answer is whatever I am focusing upon.  Over the past few years I began to pay attention to all the random thoughts that drifted through my mind. I was amazed at how I got to "Be Right" about so many things I didn’t like ~  such as “I’m too fat”, “I’m too tired.”, or “It’s too hard.”, or "I never have enough money."   

I can shift those thoughts to something else that is true, and at the same time, make it be something I like.  What am I Being Right about?  If I think, “I can’t afford that.” I will Be Right.  Or, if instead, I think, “I will be able to afford that soon.” I can Be Right about that! 

Then I thought about the wise question, “When are you going to get tired of being RIGHT instead of HAPPY?” This is not an either/or question.  It is not choosing between being right OR being happy, but instead, I am free to choose WHAT I am Being Right about!  Instead of my old fear of being hurt if I open my heart, I can choose to change my belief and recognize that when I open my heart, it will open someone else's heart.  I can choose to Be Right about my life getting better and better each day.  I can choose to Be Right about all of the abundance in my life.  I can choose to Be Right about having the most amazing friends ever imagined. I can choose to Be Right about my Intuitive gifts continuing to grow, and to Be Right the Joy is our Birthright and we can all claim it!

What do you choose to Be Right about?

FINDING JOY

I believe that our natural state of being is one of Joy.  So, why does this experience of Joy, for many people, seem to be elusive?

Imagine that Joy is like a beautiful sunny day.  Everything seems bright, pleasant, easy and fulfilling.

Now imagine a day where there is anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, fatigue or hopelessness. It is like a dark, gray, stormy day.  

Even on these dark stormy days, is the sun not shining? Have you ever been on a plane and gained altitude, broke through the turbulent, gloomy clouds and discovered the bright shining sunshine?

In my work, "InJoyingLife", I provide many different tools and techniques to clear the things that are "clouding" the Joy in your life.   

Often, it is a matter of perspective and as soon as we 'gain altitude' and have a new perspective, we will discover the sun has been shining all along!

Other times, we need to make some changes and re-chart our course (take some action) to go beyond the clouds in our life. 

And finally, sometimes we just need 'refueling', to have the energy we need to change course and gain altitude.

When I do Intuitive Readings, the things that 'cloud' your Joy are easily identified and there are always solutions available to you to Break Through the clouds and experience more JOY in your life. 

Please CLICK HERE to listen to my July 7, 2011 Tele-class and learn a great technique to clear away the clouds that block the Joy in YOUR Life!